Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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