...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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