I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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