Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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