i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
