I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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