I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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