I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
