He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
