you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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