would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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