I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
