My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
