I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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