I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
