My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
