HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
