fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize