brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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