I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
