im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
