I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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