One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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