youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
