dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize