Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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