Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Randomize
