So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
