But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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