Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
