my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
