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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize