How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize