so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
