Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
