me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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