Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
