I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
