Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you had me at cake vodka
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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