yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I love you. Go after that dick
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize