OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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