ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
