I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Success! We fucked roommates!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
