The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
