We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
