Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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