My nipple is on Facebook.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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