Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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