She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
