I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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