also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
