Who wears a wallet chain?!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
