Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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