Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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