I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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