I think im going to throw up on grandma
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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