Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Still dying that you shit outside
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
