watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize