If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
