She said her name was "party"
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
