oh god the rape fog is back!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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