The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
